Russia's new Mr Niet

We have all got to know Sergey Lavrov better than ever in recent weeks. He is the face and voice of Moscow for the Skripal poisoning and the Syrian chemical attacks. But principally he is the new Mr Niet, like one of his illustrious predecessors at the Russian foreign ministry, Andrei Gromyko of Cold War legend. Old Gromyko had a few quips when he wanted to be jolly, just like Sergey Lavrov, but for the serious stuff he was always Niet Niet Niet. Thus, Lavrov who has been the Russian foreign minister for an unbelievable 14 years, has been in the forefront of the Moscow counter-arguments to the rest of the world's accusations that Moscow poisoned Sergei and Yulia Skripal by smearing Novichok nerve agent on the door knob of his house in Salisbury, and that Russia either looked the other way or actually approved/helped/ordered/enabled President Assad's military henchmen to bomb civilians in Douma with a mixture of chlorine and sarin. Lavrov has dismissed both these accusations, using President Trump's favourite phrase - "fake news". He said it was the Brits who put the Novichok on the Skripal's front door and, amazingly, it was the Brits also who in league with the White Helmets, the volunteer civil defence and rescue force operating in rebel-held parts of Syria, who staged the chemical attack in Douma to cast a slur on Russia. But then he rather ruined his argument by saying Ruskie experts had been to Douma and had found no traces of chemicals. So which is it, Mr Foreign Minister, a British plot or a made-up story? Come on Lavrov, do you take us for total idiots? You may be a longstanding foreign minister, you may be a pretty good diplomat and, often, quite a chatty soul, but these sort of arguments would be an insult to a human being with only one brain cell. Perhaps when all this nasty stuff between Moscow and the rest of us in the West is over and we're back as "friends" and talking intelligently to each other once again, he might come out and joke about those bad old days when he had to make those stupid, laughable accusations to stir the waters. "Don't vurry, my friends, it wasn't personal, it was just beesinees." Unfortunately we're a long way away from that confession from the Russian foreign minister. Meanwhile, it's Mr Niet on the news every day and no quips from his lugubrious lips. Putin must be proud of him, especially since Lavrov, unlike his boss, was never schooled in the KGB art of lies and deceipt.