So after a month of Trump, it's time for the traditional Oscar ceremony in which special awards are given for presidential achievements or non-achievements. The voting was nearly unanimous, except for a few radically right-wing members of the voting committee who wore blindfolds and deaf aids throughout the selection meeting.
Best Actor:
Donald J Trump for a superlative acting performance without a script. Probably the best improvised delivery of words, shouts, tweets and abuse since Mel Gibson's street drama performances. Such a dominating acting role that no one else was worthy of being considered.
Best Actress:
Melania Trump, a unique acting debut, although not on general release, only in cinemas in New York. Accused in the past of taking other people's lines, she has come into her own without grabbing the limelight. Looked pretty good on the red carpet. Close second, Ivanka Trump who is predicted to take on a starring role in the planned Disney Trump biopic, The World of Donald Duck.
Best Male in Supporting Role:
Steve Bannon, for being everywhere all the time, although never happy to be in a support role. Rumoured to be pretending to be the real president. with Trump in the sidelines. Others shortlisted were Jim Mattis, for always looking so serious, Jared Kushner, for never missing out on Oval Office photographs, Jeff Sessions, for trying to be a nice guy but not succeeding, and Rex Tillerson who lost out because no one could find him. Sean Spicer was originally considered until someone on the committee pointed out he was a fake.
Best Female in Supporting Role:
Kellyanne Conway, for sheer effrontery and a brilliant marketing bid for Ivanka Fashions.
Best Scriptwriting:
Donald J and his tweets
Best Editing:
No one won the award on this occasion. Few examples of editing in evidence.
Best Foreign Film:
No entries allowed.
Best director:
Steve Bannon
Best Film:
Donald Trump the President, but it was a mistake, the real winner was Vladimir Putin the President.
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