UFOs! Is the CIA keeping something back?

The wonderful thing about UFOs or unidentified aerial phenomena (UAPs), as the Pentagon likes to call them, is that we can all go on believing there are little aliens out there in amazing spaceships even though the CIA and the US intelligence community in general have finally said they have no evidence there are any such things floating out there watching us. Yes, but the CIA wouldn't tell us if there WERE aliens would they, most people would say. After last week's report on UFOs/UAPs which gave a pretty inconclusive answer to the question we all had in our minds, a Hill-HarrisX poll in the US revealed that 70 per cent of Americans believe the government is not telling all and that there is some secret secret stuff which will never be revealed. You see? It's because we want there to be alien spaceships. We need alien spaceships. We like the idea of another universe where beings of some sort are even now going shopping in their version of Waitrose or Morrisons or Wallmart. So we are never ever going to be satisfied with the intel boys or the Pentagon when they say, "calm down, calm down, all those flashing lights and zoomy things whizzing all over the place and frightening pilots to death are phenomena ok but not alien phenomena, or at least we don't think so". Yeah, but what about that report marked So Secret No One Must Read It Except The President? It's full of scary stuff, right? Donald Trump tapped his nose once and said he knew UFO stuff he couldn't reveal and we know he always tells the truth. So he has seen it. Why can't we lesser mortals? Last week's Pentagon report said there had been 140 UFO/UAP reports since 2004 but none of them suggested anything extraterrestrial. WE DON'T BELIEVE YOU!!!