The alternative Oscar nominations

The much-awaited Oscar nominations have been published. This is what you might call an alternative list: Best films: Fire and Fury, an every day tale of White House chaos, The Bannon Syndrome, a story of nuclear meltdown, Me and My Cheeseburgers, a fantasy about a president addicted to fast food, Bling and I, an every day story of a narcissistic billionaire, Stormy Daniels, The Porn Queen, a true story about an "actress" with big...ambitions, Shutdown, a gripping drama that runs for three days, and Russian Collusion, set in Washington and Moscow with sub-titles. The big money is on Fire and Fury. Best director nominations: Michael Wolff for Fire and Fury, Jared Kushner for the little known film, My Father-in-Law, Mike Flynn for Treachery, Lies and More Lies, Donald Trump for Me and My Cheeseburgers, John Kelly for You've Got To Be Kidding, and Mike Pence for The Forgotten Man. Best male actor nominations: Donald Trump in the biopic, TRUMP!, HR McMaster in You've Got To Be Kidding, Steve Bannon in Fire and Fury, Donald Trump Jr in Russian Collusion, and Vladimir Putin in Russian Collusion. Best actress nominations: Hillary Clinton in I Cannot Believe It, Oprah Winfrey in Move Over Trump, Sarah Huckabee Sanders in TRUMP! and Nikki Haley in Who Is Rex Tillerson? Supporting actor nominations: Robert Mueller in Treachery, Lies and More Lies, Rex Tillerson in Who Is Rex Tillerson?, Jeff Sessions in You've Got To Be Kidding and Christopher Steele in Trouble. Supporting actress nominations: Melania Trump in the silent movie, What's Going On?, Ivanka Trump in Bling and I, Theresa May in The Special Relationship, and Angela Merkel in The End Is Nigh.