Monday 22 May 2017

Hunt for the leakers

The FBI, White House and journalists on every newspaper except for the New York Times and Washington Post are dying to find out who is the source for all the scoops that have been appearing in the two premier American papers. Every day there's a new leak, every day there's a new front page scoop. Trump is being driven mad. Find the leakers, he tweets every day. I can now reveal the source of the leak but I cannot reveal the identity. It is just too sensitive, but there are clues that might help you to uncover the secret Deep Throat source. "Is that David?" Deep Throat source on the end of the line to the New York Times. "Yes, who's that?" "Eeez your soorse." "Ah." "I ave ze very strong story. Da?" "Ah, good, I have my pen ready." "You like ze full transcript of talk between Trump and Fatboy?" "By Fatboy you mean....?" "Da, the same, Sergey...." "Ok, great. It's verbatim, yes? "Da." "Is that Sergey?" "Niet, niet!!" "Sorry." "No names, no names." "Of course." "So, David, Trump said, tell Putin the deal's a deal. I won't let him down." "WHAT!!!" "The deal's a deal." "You sure?" "Da, da, I was there." "What did he mean?" "It's the Golden Shower agreement." "WHAT!! You mean it really happened?" "Of course, of course, da, da. We ave ze pictures." "So what does Trump have to do in return?" "I cannot tell you that." "But I can't write anything without knowing everything." "You Americans are all the same. Take it or leave it." "Ok, ok, so Trump actually said, tell Putin the deal's a deal." "Da, da." "And this is true?" "Da, da." "You're not giving me fake news?" "Niet niet. We don't do fake news." "So if I print it, how shall I source it?' "US officials." "But you're....." "US officials or you're off my leak list." "But you're...." "Ok, I'll go to the Washington Post. That nice man Greg will get the story." "Ok, ok, US officials it is. Can I ask you one more thing?" "Niet." "But.." "Niet." "Ok, give my regards to Sergey." "Spasiva."

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