So who is this guy Corbyn?

For the first time, perhaps, Trump comes into the Oval Office and asks: "So who is this guy Jeremy Whatsit? Do we have to take him seriously? Is he going to beat Theresa?" A few weeks ago, this question wouldn't have come up by any stretch of the imagination in the Trump White House. After all, Trump held Theresa's hand. He couldn't conceive of holding Jeremy Corbyn's hand, or even shaking it. Corbyn is an irrelevant "communist" in American eyes, right? Well, I accept that the likelihood of Jeremy Corbyn becoming the UK's next prime minister is small, if not remote. But it is not out of the question, it has to be considered, if for no other reason than it might provide Trump with a bit of light relief from all that Russia stuff. So here goes for a possible conversation between Trump, Reince Priebus, his chief of staff (it sounds like a name out of a Disney cartoon), Rex Tillerson, secretary of state, and Lieutenant-General HR McMaster, national security adviser (who looks increasingly tight-faced these days). They are all sitting on the edge of their chairs in the Oval Office except for Trump who looks pretty comfortable behind the famous desk. Tillerson answers first: "There are worrying polls saying the gap between the Conservatives and Labour is narrowing, we may have to start thinking of Corbyn as the next prime minister." Priebus pooh poohs Tillerson. "There's no way a man like Corbyn is going to win the election. He wants to put poor people first. The upper classes will never allow it." Trump who had looked bored, asks: "But aren't there more poor people than the rich upper class?" Priebus looks astonished. Oh my god, he thinks, the president is quite smart after all. "Yes, Mr President," Disney Priebus replies, "but in Great Britain it's the upper class who dictate what happens with everything." Trump looks bemused. "But what about that fella Tony Blair, he was a socialist, wasn't he? He won easy," Trump says. The others look at each other with knowing smirks. "Yes, Mr President, technically, but he loved all the posh stuff too, he's a millionaire, has lots of houses and charges half a million bucks for making a speech," replies Disney. General Herbert Raymond McMaster chips in:"Blair was what the Brits call a Pimm's socialist." Disney:"I think you mean champagne?" McMaster gives him one of those looks that could actually kill. Trump: "Can we get back to this guy Corbie." Disney: "Corbyn, Mr President." Trump gives him a look that says, you're fired! Disney curls up in his chair and decides to say nothing more. Trump yawns and says: "Tell me five things I should know about this man." Tillerson replies: "He sounds very calm on TV, has a beard, hardly ever wears a tie, lives modestly and would cancel Trident if he has half a chance." Trump looks astonished: "He has a beard? Tony Blair never had a beard, did he?" The others in the room shake their heads. Trump: "Give me another five things I should know." McMaster moves in: "He probably won't like the special relationship, he hates wars, can't be trusted with our intelligence, wants to tax the rich big time and has plans to nationalise the railways, water supply and other utilities." Trump responds: "If we can't trust him to protect our super intelligence secrets, then the special relationship is over. Finished. Kaputski." Tillerson looks very very alarmed. Trump ignores his look and asks him for HIS five things about Corbyn. "Well," says Tillerson,"May is looking very rattled and just answers everything with the words, strong and stable, while Corbyn seems comfortable with all his answers even when questioned by Paxman. Maybe the people are getting fed up with all the class stuff, he probably won't be as rabidly socialist if he becomes prime minister and although he's a Republican, he says he likes the Queen." "Who or what is Paxman?" Trump asks. "He's a rottweiler interrogator, Mr President," Disney dares to answer. Trump looks confused. "So what are the odds on Corbie winning the election?" he poses. "I think," says McMaster with his very pinched look,"we should not get ourselves into a position where it looks as if we think he cannot win just in case the worst scenario happens and he does win." Trump sighs. "I'm going to ignore Corbie," he says. "Theresa's my man."