Monday 18 March 2019

Theresa May's biggest week yet

Here are all the worst cliches I can muster about the latest Brexit drama: "It's Theresa May's make-or-break week", "Last-ditch crisis talks with DUP", "Boris Johnson says there is another way", "Hard core Brexiteers to fight to the finish", "Britain is doomed", "Donald Tusk says he is open to extend Article 50 to 2052". The last one isn't a cliche and not true but roughly approximates to the president of the European Council's cunning plan to put off Brexit for so long it will make sure it never happens and the UK will be forced to keep signing the cheques for ever. I don't know how Theresa has the will power to get up every morning. She must dream about Brexit and the DUP and Jacob Rees-Mogg, all rolled into one. Is Brexit on her lips as soon as she sips her first taste of coffee in the morning? Does she have time to do anything else? Who is actually running the country? I suppose it has to be Sir Mark Sidwell, cabinet secretary and national security adviser. But then he's all wrapped up in Bexit as well. So, looking at all the newspaper-style headline cliches above, this has got to be the week of all weeks, unless of course next week is the week of all weeks. Either way, we, the people of this beloved country will discover whether our elected parliamentary representatives have the courage, wisdom, foresight and intelligence to decide our future. I'm not sure it has anything to do with Theresa any more. Her deal really hasn't changed snce she first presented it but MPs have to get clear in their heads whether they want to prolong the agony for several more months, or years, or whether they succumb to Theresa's blackmal and sign up to her much-hated deal. I doubt most MPs, let alone voters, remember what the deal contains anymore, other than the wretched Irish backstop arrangement. Will it really allow us to negotiate trade deals with anyone we want or is the small print so dense that we will still have to ask the EU's permission? No doubt Theresa and her negotiators will deny this but I have become so lost in the twists and turns I am no longer sure what sort of new-found freedom we will have by leaving the EU. Does anyone really know? Whatever the situation, this week is going to be crucial - there goes another obvious cliche. Or as the BBC would say: "One thing is certain, no one knows what is going to happen."

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