Wednesday 15 March 2017

Trump tax "leak"

Trump: "Spicer, come to the Oval Office."
Sean Spicer: "Yes, Mr President".
Trump: "What took you so long?"
Spicer: "Eh, it's four minutes walk, Mr President."
Trump: "Now I want to get this tax stuff sorted out."
Spicer: "What tax stuff, Mr President?"
Trump: "Some bastard is going to leak my tax returns from the IRS."
Spicer: "What!! How did you hear this?"
Trump: "It's Obama."
Spicer: "Obama told you?"
Trump: "No, idiot, he's got people in the IRS."
Spicer: "But it's a federal offence to leak your tax returns."
Trump: "It was a federal offence to bug Trump Tower!"
Spicer: "Yes, of course, Mr President."
Trump: "So we're going to do something about this."
Spicer: "Fire the whole of the IRS?"
Trump: "No, Spicer, what's wrong with you today?
Spicer: "Eh...."
Trump: "So I'm going to give you in a brown envelope one of my tax returns."
Spicer: "Eh...."
Trump: "This tax return will reveal that I paid a lot of tax, like every average taxpayer."
Spicer: " But I thought you hadn't paid any tax for...."
Trump: "Spicer, stop interrupting."
Spicer:  "Sorry, Mr President."
Trump:  "2005 was a good year. I paid a helluva lot of tax that year."
Spicer: "So you want me to...?"
Trump: "Yes, shove it through a bastard reporter's mailbox, and then run like hell."
Spicer: "New York Times?"
Trump: "Never, I wouldn't want to give them the satisfaction."
Spicer: "So, maybe some obscure organisation? DCReporting.org perhaps?"
Trump: "Never heard of them."
Spicer: "I know a guy there."
Trump: " Do you know where he lives?"
Spicer: "Yes."
Trump: "So what are you waiting for?"
Spicer: "Shouldn't I wait till it's dark?
Trump: "Ho ho ho. Yes, Spicer, a night raid, I like that."
Spicer: "And you're sure the 2005 return is the best?'
Trump: "2005 is the only tax return I ever want leaked. 2006, 2007, 2008, none of those must ever come out, nor 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, 1986, 1987..."
Spicer: "I get the picture."
Trump: "This is strictly between you and me, Spicer. You understand? And don't be spotted doing the business. I'll deny it whatever happens."
Spicer: "Yes, Mr President."


1 comment:

  1. An all too believable scenario. It has more circumstantial evidence to back it than some of Trump's claims about Obama. It should make it more difficult for him to repeal the tax law now that required him to pay it in the first place.

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