Kim after missile botch

Kim Jong-un, seething, orders all those responsible for Saturday's missile disaster to come and see him. Seventy-five terrified military officers, displaying rows of medals on their uniforms, enter the room. Kim: "You have humiliated me before the whole world." No one even raises their eyes. Kim: "I am the great leader and you have shamed me. The Americans are laughing." Military officer with seven rows of medals: "Oh mighty one, we think the Americans did it." Kim, screaming: "It was NOT the Americans, it was you, all of you. You failed me. That rocket should have scared the Americans, now they are poking fun at me." Same officer: "Dear leader, we have proof the Americans did it." Kim, screaming again: "Proof, what proof?" Officer: "Sir, honoured one, they jammed the telemetry, they cyber attacked our beloved rocket. There was nothing wrong with it. Everything had been checked. It was all go." Kim: "Did any of you, ANY of you, make any phone call to ANYONE revealing where the rocket was heading for?" All 75: "No, dear leader, oh mighty one, oh gracious commander-in-chief, we spoke to no one." Kim: "None of you mentioned it to your wives or daughters or mistresses." All 75: "No, great leader, only we knew the missile was heading for Misawa." Misawa airbase in northern Japan is home of the US Air Force 35th Fighter Wing. Kim: "The trajectory was correct?" All 75: "Yes, oh beloved leader, it would have fallen just short of Misawa." Kim: "If the Americans destroyed our missile we must take revenge." All 75: "Yes, oh mighty one, revenge." Kim: "Prepare another missile. This time we will hit Misawa. That'll show the Americans who's boss around here." Most senior officer: "Dear leader, that would lead to overwhelming retaliation by the Americans." Kim: "Who said that?" Most senior officer: "It was me, oh great one." Kim shouts to no one in particular: "Take him out and shoot him." Most senior officer: "Oh great leader, if I am shot it will be seen in the US and Seoul as further evidence of our humiliation." Kim: "Take him out and shoot him twice." Most senior officer is dragged away. Kim, exploding in anger, demands that all 75 be taken out and shot. Kim: "I will have my revenge. The Americans will pay. You'll see. Aide enters the room: "Oh great one, Beijing is on the line." Kim: "Tell them to go **** themselves."