What's going on behind the Buckingham Palace doors?

The Queen has made her statement about the Meghan and Harry Oprah interview and apart from her deliciously questioning remark about how some recollections vary, from now on all discussions within the Palace and on the phone to the mansion in LA where M and H reside will remain private. As some newspaper put it the other day, Her Majesty has ordered a three-line whip on the subject. In other words, total shtum from now on. No royal sources speaking out on pain of.....well whatever the Queen does to errant, disobedient aides. So one can only speculate what the Queen and the rest of the royal family are talking about in private. But if they have read their Daily Mail today it might have underlined the questions that surely came into their heads as soon as they had finished watching the Oprah show. Ok it has been claimed the Queen wasn't going to watch it but you can bet your life some members of the family did. Princess Anne for a start, and probably Charles and Camilla, and definitely Prince Andrew who would have been very curious to see how his nephew and wife handled the Big Interview, and of course William and Kate. They will have asked the following questions: (Anne):"How come she said she was the one who cried over that wretched wedding garment when I distinctly remember you, Kate, bursting into tears that day?" (William):"Daddy, didn't you give Harry a huge lump sum from your Duchy of Cornwall estate to tide him and Meghan over when they were setting up home in Canada and then LA?" (Charles): "I didn't cut him off, Wills, you know I gave him more than a million smackers." (Kate): "And what's all this nonsense about them getting married the day before the wedding at Windsor Castle in their backyard? We don't say backyard anyway, that's a frightful American expression?" (Charles): "That wasn't a marriage ceremony, right? That was just a rehearsal requested by her. The poor Archbishop went along with it." (Anne): "It's all poppycock. Everyone knows a marriage, wherever it's held, backyard or beach, requires by law to have two independent witnesses. Unless there were a couple of garden gnomes present. Hahaha." (Andrew): "I think it's unfair that I got Emily Maitlis and they got Oprah Winfrey. Maitlis asked horrible questions. Oprah was all lovey-dovey and astonished looks of sympathy. I never got that from that Emily Maitlis." (For those who don't remember, the BBC Newsnight Maitlis interview with Prince Andrew when he gave cringe-making answers to her questions about his friendship with Jeffery Epstein)." (Charles): "And who raised the skin colour of the baby? It wasn't me." (Anonymous): "I did but I didn't mean anything bad, I was just interested and anyway she said it was raised when she was pregnant but that's totally rubbish. I spoke to Harry before they were even married and just mused about what a baby would look like if he and Meghan got wedded and had offspring. No harm in that was there?"