We're just touristskis, claim the Novichok suspect pair

If it wasn't for the fact that two people nearly died and later a poor woman did die and her boyfriend was also sick, and a police officer was hospitalised and half of Salisbury was quarantined and vehicles were removed wrapped in plastic never to be seen again, the two Russians' explanation for their presence in the Wiltshire city when the Skripals were poisoned would be hilarious. We were just tourists visiting the famous cathedral, Alexander Petrov and Rusian Boshirov have claimed. As a noted expert on military/defence type matters cutely put it on the radio, the only thing that the Russians said that bore anything like the truth was their statement that the train was late getting to Salisbury. The idea that these two men travelled all the way from Moscow to Heathrow for a few days just to visit Salisbury Cathedral is laughable and ridiculous even though it is one of the finest cathedrals in this country.But what to do about these Russians? Their script was clearly written by the Kremlin and Putin and co must be laughing their heads off as they tuck into their botscht soup and congratulate themselves with a few shots of vodka. It was certainly quite a performance, all innocent and guileless and ....touristy. It's exactly what we all expected although I was a bit disappointed they didn't confirm my blog yesterday that they probably went to Salisbury to buy the special fudge.