Trump gets a lawyer

It's always a sensible move to get a lawyer when your reputation, status and job are all under threat. But it's a much bigger deal when the person in question is the president of the United States. Trump has asked his old lawyer friend Marc Kasowitz to stand up for him as the mountain of intelligence, speculation, leaks and FACTS come pouring in about the Russia connection. It's a helluva job for Kasowitz, by all accounts a smooth dude who mixes charm and niceness with steely aggression to get his way for his clients. It just may not be enough to save Trump, although the possibility of impeachment still seems a long way off. Let's speculate on the sort of conversation Trump may have had with Kasowitz. "Marc, this is the president of the United States." "Yes, Donald, how are you, nice to hear from you." "Things could be better, everyone is against me, even Melania. It's a conspiracy." "Can I be of help?" "Yes you can." "Didn't your predecessor say that?" "What predecessor, what you talking about?" "Sorry, I was being flippant, I was referring to Obama." "Obama bugged my office!" "Er, yes Mr President, but can I give you a bit of advice? Don't mention Obama and NEVER mention Nixon. You want to avoid any comparisons with past presidents." "OK, how much will that bit of advice cost me?" "Nothing for the time being, Mr President. But if I'm going to represent you, you've got to be careful what you say and what you do. For example, please don't ring the FBI or the CIA or the NSA or ABC or NBC or CNN and ask them to back off from investigating the Russia affair." "But I'm the president of the United States, I can do what I like and people should do as I tell them." "I'm afraid not, Mr President, it's not that simple although of course I understand your frustration. And you may recall that President Nixon thought the same and told his chief of staff to contact the CIA to order the FBI to back off from investigating the burglary at Watergate." "He did?" "Yes he did, and it was leaked. It was the beginning of the end of Nixon's presidency." "No one's going to end my presidency. I'm going to do two terms." "I'm sure you will, I'm sure you will, but just in case, please stop making those calls. The investigation is going to continue whether you like it or not." "It's a disgrace. I won the biggest majority of votes in the history of the United States. The people want me to be the best president ever." "Of course they do, and you will be, but...." "But you want me to keep my mouth shut?" "Mr President I would never be so rude as to advise you to do that but I do ask you to be cautious. The vultures are flying over Washington and I don't want them to land and start eating you up." "All the media are vultures. The Democrats are vultures. The FBI is a vulture machine. I can trust no one. Except you, Marc. So you will represent me?" "Yes, Mr President. You can count on me." "Thank you. I'm off to see the Pope." "Smart move, Mr President." "By the way, did you see the television pictures of Melania swatting away my hand when we arrived in Israel?" "Er, I believe I did." "Unbelievable. We'd had this row over breakfast on board Air Force One, and she went all grumpy. You know, like women do. But her revenge was outrageous. It was against the constitution, it was an insult to the president. Can you do something about that? Send her a warning letter or something?" "If I do, it will be leaked, Mr President. Let me stick with the Russia thing, ok?" "Bloody woman!"